Don’t rely on your partner to prove your worth. Stop hoarding gifts to give away later. Don’t obsess over replying to messages with just a few words.
Don’t exhaust yourself trying to please someone who doesn’t appreciate you. Respond to simple messages without overthinking. Stop fantasizing about the future or chasing fleeting moments of sweetness.
Don’t waste time worrying if they’ll forget your plans or trying too hard to impress them. Avoid setting statuses only they can see or pretending to be generous with money.
You know you’re the one always initiating gifts and feeling restless during conversations. You may say, “It’s okay, I don’t mind,” but deep down, you do. You act mature, but deep inside, you’re hurting.
You’re aware it’s not going anywhere. Your enthusiasm only results in empty promises. Those commitments are just pretty words. You’re not really counting the days, waiting for unfulfilled promises to come true, are you?
Mary is the type who gives her all once she’s committed. Lately, her love life has been rocky, leaving her exhausted and frustrated.
She confided in her friend, “I feel like I need a new emotional anchor. He’s not the same person who adored me before. His love has shifted to someone else.”
With a trembling voice, Mary continued, “I need someone new to shift my focus, but I can’t! I miss the past so much. Being alone was much better. I’d rather we never met!”
She genuinely believes it’s better to have never been loved at all than to feel this void of loss.
This girl, whether with her partner or friends, feels unfulfilled by her efforts.
She said, “Every time I see a perfect gift online, I save it, thinking it’d be great for a friend’s birthday. I even feel proud of my gift choices for myself.”
“I buy things for others that I wouldn’t buy for myself. But I never receive thoughtful gifts in return. When I share fun things with my friend, she always replies with ‘I like it, buy it for me,’ or ‘I wouldn’t mind if you got me one,’ even though I never hint at wanting gifts.”
Mary added, “I’m in a phase of prioritizing myself in social relationships. I don’t want to constantly seek approval or rely on anyone emotionally because they won’t reciprocate.”
Her friend advised, “I used to be like you. But now I’ve realized, my emotional support should come from within. Whether it’s hobbies or interests, only I can truly make myself happy. Buy gifts for yourself, and remember that self-love comes first. Without self-fulfillment, you can’t understand true love or give it to others.”
Often, the saying “you attract what you reflect” holds true. People with mutual feelings share equal emotional burdens, while those lacking love may struggle to reciprocate, burdening the other.
Wanting to give good things to someone you like is natural, but prioritize your own well-being first.
It sounds simple but can be challenging. Change the habit of putting yourself last. Believe you’re worthy, learn to say no to behaviors you dislike, put yourself first, be confident, even a bit self-indulgent—this is a lifelong lesson for many, especially Chinese girls.
If a relationship feels one-sided, let it go. If you’re tired, stop. Don’t deplete yourself. They’re not as great as you think, and others can offer the same affection.
I know you crave love, but why not try loving yourself first? Buy those items in your online cart for yourself. If you want flowers, pick them out. If you want to travel, plan it and go alone. Trust me, you can find happiness within yourself.