Using the “Value Theory” to Counter the Other’s Desire for Control
What is the value theory?
You know the man won’t marry you or be with you for long; he just wants something temporary.
So, use your current advantage to gain more leverage.
When interacting with men:
“If you have value, I will reciprocate with another kind of value.”
“I lack material things, and you can satisfy that; then I’ll offer emotional value.”
“I have money but lack emotional value. If you can meet my needs, I don’t mind spending money on you.”
In relationships, some women are good at “PUA themselves.”
For example:
A man has nothing but always talks about “pure love” to her.
“Our love needs to elevate, not just focus on immediate benefits; if we work together, we’ll have everything in the future.”
The result?
Besides empty sweet words, he provides no substantial value to you.
Not only that, you find he keeps demanding your value.
Why?
Since he only wants an ambiguous relationship with you, you must have a plan.
As Yi Shu said:
“I want a lot of love or a lot of money.”
A man who only emphasizes “our love is pure and shouldn’t value material things” should be a red flag.
He either wants to take advantage of you or can’t afford to give.
Using the “I Don’t Care” Attitude to Combat the Ambiguity of Gain and Loss
Some ambiguous games are a “dead end” from the start.
For instance:
You are married, and the other person is also married.
Through accidental contact, you quickly ignite a dangerous “hormonal flame.”
The intense emotion overshadows your rationality, making it hard to distinguish between true or false, temporary passion or genuine feelings.
What’s the best strategy in this situation?
Immediate detachment is something you can’t do.
Because you’ve already stepped into it, falling into the trap of ambiguity.
What you need to do is minimize losses and reduce the impact of ambiguity on your marriage.
At this point, attitude is crucial.
There’s an economic concept called the “crocodile principle.”
When a crocodile bites your leg, the best strategy is to give up the leg to save your life.
Though it hurts at the moment, it’s better than struggling and being devoured by the crocodile.
Understood?
Face the ambiguity, don’t respond to it, pretend you don’t care.
Mentally adjust:
“If you make a move, I won’t reciprocate; if you don’t make a move, I won’t either.”
The more confident and casual you are, the less likely you’ll fall for the other’s “sugar-coated bullets.”
Why do you vacillate?
Because you crave the other person and want to have a story with them.
The more you desire something, the more you care about it, the easier it is to mess up.
Play the Value Card You Have
What’s the mindset of top women?
Whether you have a good hand or a bad hand, play it well.
Even if you hold a lousy hand, do your best to play it well.
Many girls don’t understand this. If they have a bad hand, they start with weak momentum.
Remember, your relationship with the other person is just in the ambiguous stage.
Even if you progress to love or marriage later on, don’t let yourself be inferior in mindset.
If a man approaches you, shows affection, it’s because you have something that attracts him.
Your looks, figure, personality, and character could be what draws him in.
He’s rich? You can offer him emotional value.
His social status is higher? Focus on your own circle.
You need to be:
“I’ll only come to you when I need you, not at your beck and call.”
In short, relationships are a game.
The goal of the game is to have benefits or emotional satisfaction.
Be a worldly woman; stay stable.
Don’t be immobilized just because a man gives you a few perks.